I can never think of titles
by rawrful
Summary: [PRERENT] RogerApril fic. It's been about a year since I've updated this story. But Ch. 5 is finally up. Read and Review. Hope you enjoy it!
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** None, yet. I stink at coming up with ones.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Pairing:** Roger/April  
**Summary:** Really, it's a just a short chapter story about Roger and April's dysfunctional relationship.  
**Disclaimer:** I hate these things. Uh, I own nothing.

**Chapter 1:**

_I've heard there was a secret chord  
That David played and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music do you?_

"April, can you come here for a minute?" Roger yelled, probably louder than he had actually needed to, from the front room.

"Rog, can YOU give me a minute. Fuck." April swore from the behind the freshly closed bathroom door.

"But, April, I want you to hear this." He pleaded softly. Although, he doubted she could even hear him under the sound of the running water, but he didn't want the words to go unsaid.

Roger moved, cautiously, towards the bathroom door. Avoiding, any floorboard that he knew would make a sound against his pressing foot. His guitar was clutched firmly in his left hand and his right was pressed up against the, warped, wooden door, prepared to knock.

He tapped it gently. Once. Then twice. Then, finally, a third time. The sound of water hitting the bare bathroom tub had come to a halt.

"Roger?" April's, questioning, voice leaked from under and between the door cracks.

"Can you just give me five minutes, April? I just want you to listen to this song. I wrote it for you." The words came out cracked and swollen.

"I will later, Roger." The sound of her fingers tapping against the bathroom sink seeped out into quiet hallway.

"But, April, I wrote this for you. I want you to hear it. Please, just give me five minutes. I'm sorry, ok." He sighed, loudly. "Listen, I know, I shouldn't have yelled at you for missing our show last night. I was just...I'm sorry, April. I want to make it up to you. Please, just listen."

"Rog, I---" Her words were interrupted by the steady sound of Roger's fingers, gently plucking out a small chord. His fingers moved across the firm metal strings with ease.

"Roger, I don't want to fucking listen to it." She screamed, attempting to drown out her faint cries. "I'm fucking tired of you and your fucking music. Just stop, ok? Just fucking stop."

Roger bit his lip and refused to listen to her pleas. He began to hum softly and gently, preparing the melody for the words that would begin to accompany it.

The gentle splash of the bathwater provided a tranquil backdrop to the quiet song that was beginning to fill every inch of the loft that the two souls were confined in.

His song was finished in two minutes less, than he promised it would take. Roger smiled to himself, knowing in his mind that April could not be upset with him after she had heard the lyrics he had sang to her. He had poured his very heart and soul into those words and the sentiment behind them was evident. At least, he believed that to be so.

"April, what did you think?" He placed his beloved instrument down against the soiled wall beside him.

The loft was silent.

"April, come on. Don't fucking give me the cold shoulder. Just tell me if you liked it or not."

She didn't speak.

Roger was, now, irritated. All he had wanted was to hear April tell him that she had enjoyed the song. The very least she could tell him was that she liked the melody. Even a simple, "The lyrics were nice." But no sound was emitted from behind the closed door.

"April, I told you I was sorry." He let out a small sigh and wiped his hand against his slightly damp forehead. He brought that same hand up towards the door once more. One knock. One more. Just one more, this time.

"April? Fuck, April." The sound of his rapid breathing filled the empty space.

"Damnit, answer me." He closed his eyes. His hand lowered down towards the doorknob. 

"April, come on."

The cool metal against his warm skin sent his hand subconsciously back towards his body.

"A, do you need my help?" Roger yelled, loudly, panicked. The sound of his voice echoed back against the obstruction, that was separating him from his lover.

"GODDAMNIT, APRIL! ANSWER ME." His hand, in an anxious gesture, quickly darted out towards the doorknob, once more. He turned it slowly and carefully, expecting the door to be locked. The small clicking sound of the knob fully turning startled him.

"April, I can't believe you wouldn't fucking ans---" Roger peered his head through the cracked door. The sight placed before him caused his breathe to get caught in his throat. His body began to shake and his knees went weak.

He slammed the door, in an attempt to stop his flowing thoughts, as well, and quickly turned around. His back was pressed against it, as he fell to the floor below him.

"No. No. No." He repeated these words over and over. His head was rested firmly in his hands, soaked with sweat and tears. His legs were drawn up towards his chest.

It was this same position Mark found him in the very next morning. Still, whispering words of denial in his restless slumber.

**A/N: **I have Chapter 2 written, but I'm going to wait until Chapter 3 is done before I post it.

Read and review, please. :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

_It goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall, the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah_

"E flat. No." A loud sigh.

The sound of a door, slowly, opening fills the nearly silent loft.

Roger didn't notice. He moved a calloused finger over to the next string and tugged, roughly this time.

"That's not it." He paused, as the sound of soft footsteps inched their way closer towards him.

"Damnit. A Minor?" Roger mumbled, frustrated. His fingers picked angrily at the strings placed below them. He had been working on this for hours, hoping to get at least the beginning finished by eight.

"No, that doesn't sound right either." April whispered into his ear, while she draped her small arms around his frame.

"Hey, A." Roger smiled, tenderly, at the surprise of having her home so early. She was supposed to be working until 10. It was only 6:30.

"Hey, baby." April breathed into his neck, allowing her lips to press against the smooth flesh. "What are you working on?"

"Something." He said and moved his head back, slightly, to look at her.

"Something? Like what?" Her olive eyes sparkled with growing curiosity.

"I can't tell you." He smirked and looked down at his fingers resting on the cold metal strings of his guitar. He began to move them back and forth, trying to position them they way he wanted.

"Besides, who knows when I'll even finish it? I can't seem to find the right chords, anyway."

"Well…" April began.

"It's like, I can picture it all in my head, how it sounds, but I can't seem to re-create what I hear." Roger interrupted, without notice.

"Well, maybe it just will take some time, Rog." April sighed and released her hands from around Roger's body.

The sound of mourning doves outside, caused her to turn her head and look over towards the newly frost covered window. April walked over gracefully and gently tapped a ring covered finger against it.

"Want to go outside, Rog? I bet it's going to start snowing. You know, I've never been kissed in the snow. Want to be my first snow kiss, baby?" She smiled.

"Maybe it's D sharp." Roger said and strummed again, without success.

April sighed, knowing that he was too caught up in his current project to want to do anything, but finish it.

"Roger…"

"No." He rammed his hand against the front of the guitar. "G flat, maybe."

"I'm going…" She paused and thought for a moment. "Forget it…You know, Rog, it'd be really nice if you took some time to, you know, pay attention to me. Instead of that fucking guitar. Can you at least look at me when I'm talking to you?"

"Maybe if I go from A to G."

Roger never did look up, lost completely in his own thoughts, until he heard the familiar sound of the door close and April's footsteps leaving the building.

**A/N:** And, as usual, the third chapter will be posted as soon as the number four is done. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

_Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you_

The steady heartbeat pressed against her warm flesh, is what woke April from her slumber that late afternoon. She sighed inwardly and pressed her cool lips to the soft hair that was rubbing, softly, against her chest. It astounded her that someone so wild, at times, could be so composed.

"Do you have to leave?" The figure beside her whispered, aimlessly, into the shadows.

April sighed inwardly when she felt the pressure of moving weight on the mattress below her and the warmth of her lover's chest, firmly, pressed against her. Instinctively, April's slender arms went around the body besides her. The creature's small head rested, lightly, beneath her chin.

"What time is it?"

"I'm not sure." April felt the gentle rise and fall of her company's shrugging shoulders. "But it's dark."

"Then, yes." She replied and placed a quick kiss against the tan forehead. "He'll be waiting."

"Can you stay…just a little longer?"

The small hands of her companion were placed gently over and into her own. A small squeeze was given and, for an instant, April had forgotten what she was doing was wrong, at all. She had forgotten that it would break her boyfriend's heart.

"Please. Stay." The words were whispered below her.

"I want to." She paused. "But he'll wonder. He'll ask where I was. You know, he will."

"Please." The head below her tilted forward and a small kiss was planted against April's jaw.

"I can't. I shouldn't even be here. I'm sorry."

"Fine." The lover's hands were released from her own and the warmth April's body once felt against it had vanished.

"I'm sorry." She repeated.

"No, you're not."

"I am."

"Just…go."

"I'd stay if I could. You know, I would." April whispered and gently grasped the fragile hand of her partner, missing the sensation of her hand in another.

"Then stay." The voice, was as gentle, as the faint pressing of lips against April's flushed chest.

"But…" April paused, and tried to think of an excuse, that satisfied her enough, to leave the warmth her body had become accustomed to.

"Yeah?" The hot breath placed upon her neck triggered April to quiver, slightly.

"It would…break his heart."

"April, don't you think this would break his heart?"

She sighed and wished to take back the words that had escaped her mouth.

"It woul…" April closed her eyes, an attempt to shut out the tragic thoughts that filled her mind.

"April, I love you."

"You don't. You know nothing of love, dear." She said with a small hint of laughter in her voice.

"I do. You know, that I do."

"You don't. You're only a child."

"I'm eighteen. I'm an adult."

"In form, possibly, but you haven't experienced enough of life to be an adult." April paused, in thought, for a moment. "I actually think I….like that about you."

"Please. Stay, then. Just for ten more minutes. Please."

"I can't. I've told you, I can't."

The feeling of warm fingertips tracing her torso, blurred April's flowing thoughts.

"Stay with me."

"I'm sorry, M.."

Her lover's lips were placed gently against her own, stopping her from finishing.

"You know…the show's…tonight." April said between kisses.

"Stay."

"I have to go." She pressed her palm firmly against the warm mattress and proceeded to push herself away. "I promised I'd go. I can't lie to him."

"Please…April."

April gazed down into the warm brown eyes placed before her. She could see the watery reflection of unshed tears within them. At that instant, she had decided, she couldn't allow herself to deny the love she was being offered, anymore.

"I…" April leaned down and pressed her lips firmly against her companion's, catching them off-guard. "Ten more minutes."

"Thank you."

April couldn't see it, but she knew Mimi was smiling. Her young lover had won this round.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

_She tied you to a kitchen chair_

_She broke your thrown_

_She cut your hair_

_And from your lips she drew the hallelujah_

Roger looked impatiently over at the small yellow clock on the table beside him. He sighed quietly as he watched the red numbers change from 3:57 to 3:58.

"Fuck." He mumbled and pressed his fingers firmly against the guitar strings below his finger tips.

"I lose myself admiring…constellations" Roger said, quickly scribbling on the paper that rested on the table before him. He placed his fingers gently against the guitar resting in his lap, plucking softly, as he began to play.

"All I see is your face…" He sang quietly, squinting at the paper below him. "An ocea--" Roger stopped, looking up, as the sound of the front door opening filled the loft and the hallway light began to creep in.

"Where were you? Do you know what fucking time it is?" He said, not having to wonder who it was.

"I got held up." April paused. "Sorry."

"Bullshit, April." He spoke, angrily, pushing himself off the sofa and walked towards her.

"Roger, don't. Not now."

"Don't fucking what!" Roger yelled and April could have sworn she felt the ground shaking below her.

"I..I…Roger…"

"Damnit, April." Roger sighed, loudly. "What happened?"

"I'm sorry, Roger." April said, staring at the floor below her. "I tried. Believe me, I tried to get there in time. He wouldn't let me leave." She closed her eyes, trying to ignore the lies escaping her mouth.

"I…did you get it?"

April nodded.

"Yeah. I got it." She said and reached slowly into her jacket pocket.

Roger watched, hungrily, as she pulled out the small plastic bag.

"What'd he say?" Roger said, never taking his eyes away from the soft white contents.

"He's pissed, Rog. He's really pissed. He wants his money." She sighed. "You need to fucking pay him."

Roger nodded. He had stopped paying attention once his question was asked. His mind was already clouded with desire.

"Rog…"

"Hmmm?"

"I can't go back there."

"A.."

"I won't."

"No, April. You can. Don't worry. You'll be fine." He said, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Rog, I'm scared." She said and squeezed the plastic in her hand, firmly.

"April…" Roger spoke quickly.

"Roger, get your own fucking shit. This…I can't do it anymore."

Roger inhaled quickly, as he felt a sharp pain in his lower abdomen. He placed his hand upon it. "Could you...please…just this…time."

She didn't have to question what he wanted. She had received this request many times before.

"Sit. There." She motioned to the sofa, behind him.

-----

"I love you." Roger whispered, feeling the sharp prick of the needle stabbing his flesh.

April only nodded, not sure if he was talking about her or the sensation he was experiencing from the heroin entering his system. She lowered her eyes to the emptying syringe in her fingers, watching the creamy white liquid drain into Roger's vein.

"How was the show?" She said, trying to ignore the scenario before her. She wouldn't tell him, but she hated this.

"Good…it was…good." Roger groaned. "The crowd was huge." He smiled.

"Good." April nodded and gently pulled the needle from his skin.

"But…the guys…they started bitching…"

"Why?"

"I was…"

"What, Rog?" She said, quickly, knowing she was about to lose him. "You were what? High?"

He nodded, clumsily.

"Thanks." Roger said, staring down at the small red mark on his skin. "Man…"

April watched closely as Roger's eyes began to close and his head fell to his chest.

"I love you, too, baby." She whispered, but she knew he wouldn't hear her. He had already fallen under his lover's spell and, for a instance, she had thought to herself that maybe she shouldn't have felt guilty for what she had done to him. He had done the same to her countless times before.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

_Maybe I've been here before_

_I know this room_

_I've walked this floor_

_I used to live alone before I knew you_

April awoke to the feeling of Roger's hands shaking her gently. She groaned at the uncomfortable feeling of the cold cement wall behind her scraping against her back. She opened her eyes, squinting, and realized it was not yet morning.

"April? April, get up." The sound of Roger's voice made her jump.

"What, Roger?" Her voice came out hoarse and the exhaustion she felt was evident. She placed her palms against the soft carpet below her using her arms to push herself into a sitting position. She gazed up slowlyl to see Roger's face hovering only inches above her own.

"I need...Can you?" He placed his cool, damp palm against her face and gave a weak smile in her direction.

"No, Roger." She said and brought her hands up to rub her tired eyes. "No."

"Please, April." Roger whispered as ran his calloused fingers over her shoulders.

"No. I told you." He felt April's body begin to tremble, irritably, below his fingertips. "I'm done. If you want to fuck up your life, go ahead, but I'm not going to help you do it."

"April, please." Roger said, slowly, leaning down closer to her face. "I need you." She closed her eyes tightly as his hot breath brushed against her cheek.

"Roger, I can't."

"April, I need it. You know, I do. Please help me."

"Fuck, Roger, ask Mark." She sighed. "I love you, Roger. I'm not going to help you kill yourself."

"You're not, A. You're helping me, baby. You've seen how I am without it." He took a quick pause. "I need it."

"More than me, Roger? Do you need that.." A look of pure disgust spread across her face, "...more than you need me?"

"No. It's, April, it's..."

"It's what, Roger? What? What is it?"

"You. April, I love you."

"Not enough to stop, though? You don't love me enough to stop."

"I..." Roger reached his hand up to wipe the beads of sweat that were beginning to settle against his forehead. "April, I..."

"I'm not enough, am I? I'm not enough for you."

"You are." He was started to get annoyed at the time he felt she was wasting.

"Don't lie to me, Rog."

"I..." He paused, slightly in thought, slightly because he realized he would need to careful in the way he worded what he wanted to say. "April, I don't know how to live without it." His eyes were closed as he began to subconsciously rub his left arm.

"What about without me, Roger? You'd manage without me wouldn't you?" April gazed down in disgust at the old track marks that were littered across that fragile, pale arm.

"I wouldn't." He shook his head.

"Yeah, 'cause who would buy your shit for you then?" She spoke loudly. The words smothered in anger and resentment.

"April, fuck..." His voice began to rise with hers.

"What, Roger? What?"

"You don't fucking understand." He said and she watched his fingers press firmly against his arm. His nails digging into the surface. "It hurts, April."

"Don't you think watching you kill yourself fucking hurts me, Roger?" She screamed and he recoiled.

"Well, I'm not fucking killing myself, April. I'm fine."

"Look at you, Roger. Look at yourself. You fine? You're fucking shaking right now!" She screamed. "You're killing yourself and it's fucking killing me to watch you do this."

"April..."

"Fuck off, Roger. I told you."

"April..."

"Go get it yourself." She whispered while never letting her eyes leave his.

He watched as April lifted herself off the floor below her and began to walk towards their kitchen.

"Where are you going?" He began to follow her.

"To get a drink." She said and flicked on the light switch.

"So, you're not going, now?" Roger blinked heavily as the light began to blur his vision.

"Does it look like I'm going?" She said reaching up for a glass from the cabinet in front of her. She turned on the faucet. The sound of the water hitting the bottom of the sink filled the tiny room.

"I was just asking a fucking question, A."

"I'm going to bed." April said, while filling up her glass.

"Fuck April." He said as he leaned, heavily, against the doorframe. "Please, I need you to do this for me."

"Do it yourself, Roger." April said placing the glass on the countertop. "I told you I'm done."

"April, please. Why won't you help me?"

"I told you why not. I love you."

"Do you?" He said. He was at her side now. She watched him, carefully, as he picked up the half-empty glass and brought it up to his lips. "Do you love me?"

"I..."

"Do you really, fucking, love me?" He shouted and slammed the glass against the counter making it shatter into a thousand tiny pieces.

"Jesus Christ, Roger." She spoke, softly, as she began to feel the cold liquid brushing against her feet.

"I asked you a question. Answer me."

"I love you, Roger. That's why I'm not buying it. I love you." She said; trying to mask the fear in her voice.

"April, please." He said, grabbing her arm, as she began to walk away.

"No."

"Why the fuck not?" His face was hovering inches from her own.

"I love you. That's why. I've told you."

"You don't love me." He said. His grip tightened and his nails pressed into her flesh.

"I do." She replied, biting her lip. She shook her arm, trying to loosen his grip. "Please, let go. Roger, you're hurting me."

"April." He spoke, softly and calmly. "Just this once. One more time." He said as he pressed his trembling lips against hers.

"Roger...I..."

"Please, April. I love you. You're the only one who would do this for me."

"I...Roger..I..can't."

"Please, baby. For me. Do it for me."

"No."

"Please." Roger spoke, softly, feeling a warm tear streaming down April's cheek.

"This is the last time, Roger."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N: God, this story is so fucked up. sigh I sort of want to just drop it. Oh, and sorry the lyrics aren't really relevant to the chapter. They will be in the next one.**

But I would really like to say thanks to everyone that reads and takes the time out to review this. I know I don't say it often, or ever, but I really, really, really appreciate it. I means a lot to me to know that there are people out there that enjoy my writing. So, thanks to everyone, especially, BwayDiva, who's been reviewing my things forever. Thanks!

Oh, and also, before I forget if any of you have any question regarding the story, because I know I have a tendency to not fully explain things just e-mail me or leave me a comment on here. I'll try to answer your questions either through e-mail or in an Author's Note during the next chapter.

I hope you all have a great week!

**A/N PART 2:**

Holy cow! So, I haven't worked on any of these stories in forever. Partly, because the computer I once had has been down for months. And, well, honestly, I haven't been inspired much, but I saw I had this actually saved on here and I had never posted it, so here we go, guys. I don't know who will all read it, but if you do I hope you enjoy it. I know it's certainly not my best. I really wish I could finish more of my other ones. Maybe I'll try soon. But if you like this crazy story..then heck..you'd probably like my other ones a lot more. LOL.

But anyway, hopefully, I make a comeback soon. I really miss writing. :(


End file.
